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Comments for Till This Goes Away
1) Nice clear voice, extremely important. Good enunciation. Best value. Keep it up
2) Good words, keep digging deeper
3) Good musicians, good production. You're lucky
4) Needs: more dramatic interesting chords and quizzical structure. Depth / Near contrasts, dynamics. Consider chorus to emphasis ironic point; people like to hear reinforcement from other people, though the same thing is said
5) Minor but cool: Think about generating more vocal sounds range / effects / sighs, ironic laughs, giggles, etc.; fit in where appropriate -- talk to us, informally. You have 3 emotions. More will appear
You're doing great, keep it up, almost there. I'm really proud of you. make that magic.